I started reading J.R. Ward’s Lover Mine a couple of nights ago. I got to page six before I was thrown out of the story by an unlikely scenario involving electrolysis, tattoos and pubes.
R.I.P., a disdainful tattoo artist, is about to ink a customer named Keri. The following scene is told from R.I.P.’s point of view, and he makes it clear that he’s dismissed Keri and her friend, Sarah, as airheads who are unworthy to be the beneficiaries of his artistic talent.
“I want a rainbow carp,” Keri said as she got into his chair with what she clearly intended to be an enticing arch. “Right here.”
She pulled up her tight little shirt, undid the zipper on her jeans, and pushed down the top of her pink thong. Her belly button had a hoop with a pink rhinestone heart dangling off of it and it was clear that she was into electrolysis.
“Fine,” R.I.P. said. “How big?”
Keri the seductress seemed to deflate a little – as if her no doubt one hundred percent success rate with college football players had led her to assume her would pant all over the real estate she was showing him.
“Um…not too big. My parents would kill me if they knew I was doing this…so it can’t show over a bikini bottom.”
Of course not. “Two inches?” He held up his tatted hand and gave her a sense of dimension.
“Maybe…a little smaller.”
With a black pen, he made a sketch on her, and after she asked him to stay on the inside of the lines, he snapped on his black gloves, got out a fresh needle, and turned on his gun.
It took Keri about a second and a half to sport tears and hang onto Sarah’s hand as if she were giving birth without an epidural. And that was the difference, wasn’t it? There was a huge divide between the hard-core and the wannabe.
Notice the incongruity in this scene? Or am I the only freak who stays awake at night pondering the relative painfulness of electrolysis and getting a tattoo?
As I have no tattoos and no plans to have electrolysis done, in my pubic region or elsewhere, I needed and expert opinion.
So I Skyped my mother. Here’s our exhange:
ME: Which was more painful: electrolysis or tattoo? Need to know for tomorrow’s blog post! I got thrown out of a book when a character with electrolysised pubes freaked out while having a tattoo done.HER: Without a doubt, electrolysis is much, much worse. Tattoo is nothing by comparison. My finger tattoo was probably a bit more intense because it was on the bone and the older method (as used in 1972) went much deeper. The tattoo on my wrist was damned near pleasant. Electrolysis was pure unadulterated hell. On a scale of 1 to 10 it was off the charts. Compared to childbirth, it was worse. I had eloctrolysis nightmares for years. Will probably have one tonight now…
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Okay, I’ve never had a tattoo done. I want one, just haven’t gotten around to it yet, plus a friend of mine who’s a tattoo artist said that I should come back home to get it done at this place in Singapore that’s famous in tattoo-artist-land.
But I did talk to the doctor who did the electrolysis for me about ‘what if I hate the tattoo I get and want it gotten rid off?’ He told me that since I handled the pain of the electrolysis fine, then getting the tattoo and getting it removed (if it came down to it) wouldn’t be a problem.
I’ve been thrown a couple of times by authors who appear to think that Singapore is still stuck in the 1960s post-colonial period (these are books that are set in the past ten years).
No tattoo for me (as you know) but I had a course of electrolysis. Didn’t work, possibly because it wasn’t painful enough?
But the real question is why she didn’t go for laser hair removal…
In the meantime, my question to you is this: What are you doing reading JR Ward that carefully?
I am the queen of being thrown out of books for odd details. LOL
And out of my tatts the only one that actually hurt, was the first on my ankle when my best friend who was with me nearly crushed my hand while watching the tattooist do his work. LOL Though the inking in wasn’t overly pleasant, but not super painful either.
The first few times with an electrologist can sting, but it all depends where you are getting it done on your body. I also hear getting a tattoo is not as painful, much like electrologist. But then again I wouldn’t have a needle full of electric fun anywhere near my hoo haa line, but that’s just me.
So the name of the tattoo artist, RIP, didn’t pull you out of the story? The moment I read his name I rolled my eyes and snorted.
You crack me up! Tattoos can be painful depending on where you are getting one and how intricate. Never done electrolysis but I imagine it it like tweezing on acid, which would be far more painful.
PS Were you able to finish Lover Mine?
I would never have caught that because I honestly did not know what electrolysis was before reading this post.
That being said, the fact that she wears a bikini around her parents regularly would have given me pause.
And a rainbow carp? Erm, how hip. Remember that guy I was dating last summer? One of the reasons I broke up with him was because all his tattoos were lame.
How could it be clear she was into electrolysis? I mean, did she show her entire hootchie to RIP? And he could tell the difference between that, razor or electrolysis?
And even the people I know who are into heavy ink, admit that sometimes it hurts like hell. Or being JR Ward, hhurts lhike hhell.
I should point out that my electrolysis was on the eyebrows, NOT the pubes. Neither of my tattoos involves a rainbow carp, they’re of the floral hippie dippy variety. And my brief time under the electric needle was long before laser came along.
Overuse of certain irritating phases can put me off a book. There was one detective series (not very good anyway) and the writer kept using the words ‘kitty corner’ every few pages. People sat at tables kitty corner; in all social situations they were positioned kitty corner; I’m sure a few corpses were found lying kitty corner. Drove me nuts.
Oochy ouchy! I don’t think I could get either done. I’m not very fond of needles.
I have no idea why this bothered me so much. There are so many things which I could object to in Ward’s books, but they mostly amuse me. The description of JM, for example, always makes me think of The Incredible Hulk. The names are ludicrous. The product placement is blatant, although I believe there’s less of it in Lover Mine than in the last book.
I’ll definitely go back and finish Lover Mine. I probably need to wait a bit until the hype dies down. I find I can better appreciate the BDB books if I go in with low – or no – expectations.
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