Warning: This post contains much self-indulgence and navel-gazing. If that’s not your thing, bail now!
If you’re a regular visitor to Monkey Bear Reviews, you’ve probably figured out that I took a semi-break for the month of November. The main reason for this was to allow me to devote more hours to NaNoWriMo, but there were a few other factors which made it a good time to take a step back from the blog.
Over the past few months, I’ve seen so many posts from bloggers wondering why they bother and doubting the relevance of their blog when they don’t keep up with whatever is THE trendy thing to do. While I wouldn’t say I’d reached the point of a burnout, blogging less in November gave me the opportunity to reassess my goals, and to remind myself why I began blogging in the first place.
As I’ve said in the past, I had no specific agenda when I started this blog. I simply wanted to review the books I read and perhaps comment on book-related matters which were of interest to me. I can’t remember when, exactly, I posted my first semi-controversial post, but I think it was pretty soon after I began blogging.
Writing rants and raves on a regular basis was not planned. I originally started writing opinion pieces during a phase when my daughter wouldn’t sleep. I was tired, I was cranky, and I had no time to read. Not reading obviously meant a dearth of material to review, and I wanted to keep myself in a regular blogging schedule. So I wrote my first op ed. I found I enjoyed doing it, and alternating reviews with opinion posts pretty much evolved from there.
In the past, I’ve been quick to say that my online personality is an accurate reflection of who I am in real life. Upon consideration, I’m forced to amend that assessment. While it’s very difficult to see myself through the eyes of others, I suspect I’ve gained an online reputation for being opinionated and occasionally controversial. In real life, I have strong opinions on many subjects but I often choose not to voice them because I hate confrontation. I am capable of standing up for myself and for what I believe in, but it often costs me a lot to do so. I stress about hurting someone’s feelings, or about being misunderstood. I spend many sleepless nights before potentially awkward meetings with, say, a boss, or someone else in a position of authority. I admire those of you with a thicker skin than I have, but at the same juncture, I don’t aspire to be like you.
I freely admit that I did not expect the dramatic fallout which occurred after a couple of the posts I wrote, and I had a hard time dealing with their aftermath. I love debating issues with others but I generally shy away when it turns into a heated argument. Yes, this probably makes me a wimp, but I honestly don’t think there are many issues in life which are worth fighting about, and certainly not most of the things which cause the online bust-ups in RomLand.
But everyone loves a bitchfest, even if they don’t choose to actively participate. Each and every time I posted something which caused – or contributed to – a ruckus, my blog traffic exploded.
When I saw those stats, I realized I had a choice. I could use this as an opportunity to make my blog into a place where controversy and conflict were a regular occurrence. This would almost certainly generate a lot of traffic. Or I could opt for a quiet life and stick to writing book reviews.
Now I am obviously a weird blogger and an antisocial social networker. I’m not too fussed about being popular. I have never seen the attraction of being the centre of attention and I still don’t get why anyone would aspire to have 1000-plus Facebook “friends” or celebrate having a certain number of followers on Twitter. In this respect, my online persona is very true to my real life personality.
For much of October, I found myself becoming frustrated and disillusioned with the online romance community – or however we choose to define ourselves. It seemed to me that some people would argue black is white just to get attention, and many discussions went round in circles. I began to envy those bloggers who’d taken the sensible route and stuck to discussing books and man titty.
Taking a semi-break in November did me the world of good. It reaffirmed that the controversy route is not for me. Blogging is a hobby – no more, no less. I’m not claiming to be a professional, and I’m not in this for money or free books. The only reason I can think of for actively pursuing high stats is to attract advertisers and/or stroke your own ego. There’s nothing wrong with either of those ambitions, by the way. They’re simply not for me. And if you’re fortunate enough to get mega hits without making a particular effort to court them, more power to you.
So where does this leave my blog? I’m going to keep doing what I’ve been doing, alternating book reviews with other posts. If I feel moved to comment on whatever is the latest trainwreck/bitchfest, I will do so, but if I can’t be arsed, I won’t bother.
I have a ton of ideas for posts and other features for the blog. I’m also in the process of redesigning my blog…by myself! This could have disastrous consequences, so I apologize in advance for all dodgy colour combinations and design flaws. It is, as they say, a work in progress.
Now my navel-gazing is at an end and I leave you with the real reason I started blogging:
{ 20 comments }
I applaud you Sarah
One of the reasons I love your blog so much is that you do express your opinions, and very eloquently, I might add. I enjoy coming here and sometimes really coming away with something to think about. I hope that doesn’t change. There’s much more to be found here than say at my blog, which is more fluff and filler *g*
However I feel much the same way you do about followers and popularity. Blogging should be enjoyable for you. It shouldn’t feel like a job or stress you out. I don’t care that I only have 1 comment for some of my posts. I blog about what I want to blog about. On January 1 I will have blogged for 4 years, so in that time, I’ve come to accept that I will never be one of the cool kids on the internet, but then that’s me in RL as well. It’s not going to change, and do I even want it to? (Well, yeah, sometimes LOL)
But seriously, I follow your blog, I LOVE coming here and seeing what you have to say. You seriously rock, my friend.
I can respect your decision not to be a controversy-chaser.
TBH I don’t like blogs that are too heavy on conflict & controversy b/c most of them seemed to be that way not to foster productive discussions / dialogue, but to get more traffic.
I’m all about being drama free! Your blog should make you happy
I think you have a very unique voice and I always enjoy coming here. Good luck with the blog makeover! 
Wonderful post! I found you through several RTs on Twitter, but will definitely be back! I agree with Stacy that your blog should be for your enjoyment and not a popularity contest. I’ll never be one of the cool kids either, and I’m okay with that. Great job!
So that means it is a safe place for the interweb nerdlets to hang out?
Bring back my edit button! pwetty pwease
Forgot to say I hope so – cos I have made myself at home anyways!
I will admit that your name has come up in some conversations with Janet, and the consensus is that you are a smart, sane, adult presence in Romlandia. I actually enjoy the non-review posts more than the reviews, a fact I mention not to suggest more of one and fewer of the other, but just to let you know people will have their preferences.
I don’t know what to say about controversy. It doesn’t follow me around. I would like to think that’s because I espouse well-reasoned opinions that are hard to assail. (I thought for sure I’d get at least one comment on my post on Flowery Prose, but no…) Maybe it’s just that I’m boring. But at the end of the day, I’d rather be boring than incendiary.
People live for drama. Some think by constantly bringing it up and the gossip, they will be popular. Do what makes you happy. If people, especially in blog land didn’t care so much about their stats or trying to be the popular person, then there wouldn’t be such drama and flame wars.
I am getting sick of certain sites and some blogs feeling the need to post their stats and followers. “OH look I’ve have 5 million people check out this blog since June!” Give it up. Who cares? Unless you are expecting some corporation to come along and cut you a million dollar check based on your popularity, and I do think some believe that.
There are days I’m really happy I began blogging 6+ years ago. Back in “the dark ages” there were so few of us blogging in RomLand that there was never the “fear” any of us were “doing it wrong.” We had nothing to compare ourselves too, and just started throwing crap up against the wall to see what would stick.
But now? RomLand is a horde. I imagine it can be intimidating for newbies or “younger” bloggers that they’re “not doing it right,” “that so-and-so always has more comments,” “that so-and-so writes better posts than I do,” etc. It’s just a matter of turning all that noise off. Ultimately your blog is your shiny wee corner of the Internet. It’s yours. You can do with it what you will. Some will like it. Some will not like it. At the end of the day you have to ask yourself….do YOU like it?
Your blog is one of my few “newer” favorites in recent memory because I enjoy your opinion pieces. I never feel like you’re needlessly stirring shit up, and instead you present reasoned, articulate arguments for why you feel whatever way you do on an issue. I appreciate that, so I’m more likely to read ALL of your opinion pieces regardless of what the topic is.
If I feel moved to comment on whatever is the latest trainwreck/bitchfest, I will do so, but if I can’t be arsed, I won’t bother.
That’s it exactly. I don’t comment on every dust-up in the community either. If I feel like I have something to say and contribute? I do. Otherwise? Meh. This too shall pass.
I enjoy your blog Sarah -all of it and I mimic what everybody else is saying – blog for yourself. Readers will be there or not. Rock on.
I am really, really thankful I did not have a blog or access to any anonymous place to vent when I had two in diapers. I think you’ve shown remarkable restraint.
It sounds like nothing is changing around here — you’ve always blogged about what interests you, regardless of stats, and will continue to do so. Sounds good to me.
@Stacy I’m a big fan of your blog. It’s definitely not all fluff and filler! I hope I’m still blogging in four years time. So many people seem to quit after a year or so, probably for some of the reasons I mentioned in the post.
@NadiaLee I’m definitely not saying I’ll never blog about something controversial again. This post was more of a reminder to myself of why I started blogging in the first place and to keep it real. Despite the best of intentions, it’s so easy to get sucked into the stats and popularity game.
@Mandi Yeah, you manage to run a fun a blog which seems to be popular without resorting to drama. Definitely the smart way to go.
@Alexia561 Hi! I’ve discovered so many blogs via Twitter. Nope, definitely not a cool kid and never will be.
@Edie No edit button? Seriously? Aargh! I know the reply button is AWOL. I’m working on it…
@Magdalen Gah! I’ve been meaning to comment on that post. Sometimes there’s no rhyme or reason for why certain posts are more popular than others. If I dash one off quickly, it tends to be a hit, whereas the ones I put time and effort into often generate less discussion.
@katiebabs Controversy sells papers and it attracts traffic to blogs. We all like a good trainwreck now and then, but the question is, do I want the aggro of getting actively involved in every single one? I think not.
@Wendy I think my post is a variation on a theme. There seems to be a point in almost every blogger’s online life when they ask themselves why they’re doing it and if they want to continue taking their blog in the direction it’s going. I just think it’s such a shame when good bloggers quit because they become so disillusioned that they don’t want to continue. I’ve seen this happen lately with a few blogs.
@Keishon Thank you! You’ll be delighted to know I haven’t crashed the blog once today. Of course, the day’s not over yet…
@Jessica I’ve learned not to write blog posts when I’m particularly stressed or sleep-deprived. They invariably sound far harsher than I intend!
Hi Sarah, I like coming to your blog to hear what’s going on in your part of the blogoverse, ‘weird blogger and an antisocial social networker’ personality included
All the brou ha ha at times makes my inner Xena want to break lose and make a statement but often just stay away. Many bitchfests I don’t like or even understand where its coming from which is another reason for me to stay out of it. Like Wendy said; At the end of the day you need to be happy with what you do on your blog and the ones enjoying it will keep coming 
Have fun with revamping your blog and is Fabio the reason you started blogging, really?
ROFL
I’m already liking the new design.
And Fabio? LOL
I tend to avoid drama on the interwebz. I have enough of that in real life. I always enjoy your opinion posts because I learn something from them, but sometimes the drama in the comments scares me.
@Leontine Let’s change it to “selective social networker” in that case! Oh, I can’t tell you the number of times in the past few weeks I’ve written a vitriolic post but chosen not to publish it. Sometimes it’s best to just walk away.
@heidenkind You can always count on Fabio and his flowing tresses for a good laugh! Now if only I could figure out how to get the reply button back…
I don’t have much to add to what others have said except that I like your voice and hope you keep blogging!
What a wonderful post Sarah, I like to visit your blog. I never felt the need to attract many followers or comments, I don’t post on a regular basis, it all depends on the time I have and I rather read. I don’t like bitchfests, and most of the time I wonder why people get so worked up about certain things in bookblogland. Just enjoy your reads, that is what counts. And as the others say at the end of the day you have to be happy with your blog for it is yours!
Fabio??LOL… blast from the past, he always reminds me of a lion.
Sarah: you have been reading my mail.
You have a way with words and putting most of what I’ve thought about blogging into perspective. I don’t always comment but I do enjoy your posts and I’m glad to see things will stay the same.
And I agree with your thoughts on those always commenting on follower count. It makes the blogs/Twitter seem more like a popularity contest. I don’t like that.
I thought that was Fabio!!
@Lynn Spencer Thank you!
@Marissa I think it’s the mane that makes Fabio resemble a lion.
@Tumperkin Well, great minds think alike, right?
@Donna Thanks!